Quantcast
Channel: funny – 50-Word Stories
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live

ANA BL VEIRA: Hard to Digest

He got home exhausted. It had been a hard work day. The fridge: empty. Nothing to cook. Again. Some pizza would work. Some Chinese, maybe. He turned on the television. “…for the second consecutive...

View Article


JON NIXON: An Easy Mistake

Montgomery Jackson’s luck ran out when, at the annual manoeuvres, and in front of the new Commander, he proudly showcased the new guerrilla tactics he had developed. Charging headlong at the enemy...

View Article


FILLIP VERDUN: The Only Way to Fly

This is your virtual pilot. Thank you for flying Everywhere Airline. You are flying on the first fully automated airplane and are in the hands of the most advanced computers in the world. Relax and...

View Article

ALISON CARROLL: What a Wonderful World it Would Be… (Confessions of a...

If all the misbehaved, screaming children in restaurants were eaten for dinner. If tailgaters grew tails, and road-hogs were butchered for bacon. If lying politicians were publicly flogged by their...

View Article

GRACE KARY: The Miracle of Art

She excitedly told her friends about the cat stalking her unfinished sculpture on the kitchen floor. As it materialized one could feel the amazing spirit of the piece infusing inanimate plaster with...

View Article


DENISE JONES: Time is Ticking

Well over forty, my biological clock has almost stopped. My ideal man is handsome, plays sports, drives a Porsche, and holidays in Mauritius. My next “date” sits opposite me now. “I’m Cecil,” he lisps....

View Article

DL SHIREY: Barbarism

The first one gets a careful trim; blade running along edges for a new, neat, well-sculpted line. For the second, I cut off the lobe completely. I hear people scream in reaction to my work. There are...

View Article

JASON HUYNH: Not Just a Clean Getaway

Wearing freshly laundered gloves and coat, none of his body was exposed. He strode to the teller, slid a note across the counter, and unveiled his polished weapon. “Use this attached hand sanitizer...

View Article


GUY PRESTON: First Thing in the Morning

After her diagnosis, Grandma would wake at six and scuttle to the newsagents. She’d struggle back up the hill, spread the local Guardian across the table, and scour the obituaries before breakfast....

View Article


VIV BURGESS: A Sense of Homer

For ten years Penelope weaves her tapestry daily, unpicking it nightly, while Odysseus, tossed by tide and fortune, struggles to reach home. Landing, he slaughters her besieging suitors. She’s furious....

View Article

TATE HANCOCK: Good Friend

Teary-eyed and with flowers in hand, the boy inches toward the grave with his mother. The grave is familiar; they both visit it daily. The boy breaks down and falls to his knees. Crying, he says, “He...

View Article

MARY STEER: Dorothy Parker’s Dinner Party

Carrie won’t have dairy. Jonah won’t touch meat. The Quarringtons are vegan. What do they all eat? No gluten, no fructose, no nuts of any kind, no eggs and no bananas—I think I’ve lost my mind. Dinner...

View Article

ANNE ANTHONY: High-Tech

“There’s a bug.” The new project manager steps into Charlie’s cube. She smells fresh, like she showers. “Impossible.” He knows she can’t read Java so he points to his screen. “Show me.” “Good Lord,...

View Article


JOEY TO: Artificially Correct

The A.I. can operate at 7000 teraflops. Innumerable man-hours were spent on it, not that anyone logged their hours properly. It’d also drain the city’s power. So what?! It’s a testament to our...

View Article

KL PRASAD: Stupid Wife

Furious, I walked fast to the park and sat down on a bench next to a stranger. “My wife says she has seen a ghost laughing. Ridiculous. How do people believe in such stupid things, I wonder. Do you...

View Article


PENNY JO MCALLISTER: Patience

Some day, the world will know the truth. They think that because of their ridiculous brains and silly thumbs they can do anything. We’ll let them think that for a while. Remember: stay away from their...

View Article

VICTORIA CAIN: A Veering Vacation

The ship halted; the black grains of sand slowed it. Was this how it should look? Taking another look at the brochure, I looked up and squinted. The picture looked like paradise. Were those skulls on...

View Article


CAROLE NESE: Chatterboxes

We all know them, the ones that never stop talking or take a breath and allow others to speak. The men are big boors, the women are clacking teeth. Maybe it’s a disease, or they like listening to their...

View Article

CONNELL WAYNE REGNER: A Titillating Tragedy

“When he saw her helpless and forlorn, there was a stirring in his loins.” “Cut, cut, CUT! His lions started to stir. His lions, Narrator! This is a circus tragedy, not a Nuevo Erotic Romp!” “What...

View Article

ALEX MARKOVICH: The House On Pleasant Lane

The neighbors who’d once welcomed the Joneses with home-baked cookies are milling restively outside. The sheriff’s car stops briefly, then slowly pulls away, and the rampage begins. Finally the mob...

View Article
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live