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GORDON LYSEN: Happy New Year Grumps

It was his birthday. Born seventy years ago on the last day of December. So this is how his year was to end, wracked in pain, body contorted. He always thought he would enjoy retirement, old age, dying...

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JON NIXON: No Longer a Pardner

“We’ve had enough of your cowboy attitude in the workplace,” the boss said. “You’re fired.” I glanced at the clock. High noon. “That’s mighty fine,” I drawled, spitting my tobacco onto the floor....

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GUY PRESTON: You’re barred!

Three men walk into a bar. “Ow!” cries the first man. He clutches his head and falls to the floor. “Ugh!” cries the second man, slumping lifelessly to the ground. “It is done,” says the third man. He...

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J BRADLEY: Home Improvement

I stop when I see the three previous exterminators decaying on the front lawn, their faces swollen. The previous owners stopped paying their mortgage and turned the space between their walls into an...

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MARK FARLEY: First, catch your vampire

Hunt them in dark castles or the bedrooms of virgins. Dispatch with a blunt instrument. Avoid the heart. Hang the meat high. Allow to drain for three days. Do not let it near sunlight. Salt well. Slice...

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JENORA VASWANI: Robot Hugs

Cuddles. An order. Cuddles? The robot paused, processing. Error 404. A brief demonstration. A jerky imitation. Processing again. I do not understand. You want to remain in contact with my exterior...

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MELISSA FU: Ambush

The lettuce is leggy and the bokchoi has bolted. While I’m scrambling after runaway cabbages, the slugs launch their offensive. Calling them swift may be overstatement, yet under the cover of a single...

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ALEXANDRA KEISTER: Probability and Statistics 101

Pinched between sweaty fingers, the love note—a carefully crafted purple-inked questionnaire that would potentially determine the rest of their lives—was passed to the blonde in front of him. She...

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BOB THURBER: Home Movies

The morphine soothes. Death is fairly quick, ultimately painless. Your spirit ascends like an explosion playing out. Turns out that there is a God, and She’s pissed. A projector clacks, images flutter....

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JOHN H. DROMEY: Zombies Don’t Bleed

The chief of detectives saw one of his precinct’s best undercover cops with the lower part of his face nearly covered with blood. “What happened to you, Morrissey?” “I was playing dead for a sting...

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PREETI SINGH: A story

A proper story requires three main components: Beginning Middle End All important to form a complete story, no matter the size. If any of it is missing, it is called an unsettled plot. I want to share...

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BERTA TORRAS FEBRER and GÉNESIS CHAMAIDAN PANCHANA: Love of my Life

It’s Friday. I’m meeting the love of my life, the one and only. It’s 9:50 PM, almost 10. All is prepared. I’ve waited for so long. Suddenly the bell rings. I’m nervous but I open the door. “So...

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JOHN ROSSER: Bear Necessity

From the very start the bear’s life had been miserable and brutal. Locked away in the dark for weeks without food and water. Brought out in public only to be beaten. But now his torment was at an end....

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BEN REYNOLDS: The Messenger

The Royal Ballroom was not accustomed to motorbikes careening through its windows, but the helmeted man had a message. A red triangle on the seal told the King all he needed. “A storm nears,” he said....

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PAULA RODRIGUEZ: The Lie

Lovely sweetheart, I don’t know why, I don’t know when, I just know that today I wanna live again. Lovely sweetheart, you are the one that makes me write what my heart felt when we began. You wanna...

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NINA SUDHAKAR: Much Ado About Flowers

Red roses are cliché. Carnations: pedestrian. Daisies’ friendly faces look pitifully eager. Orchids make you work too much for their beauty. Lilies’ quiet elegance masks a faint bridal whiff. Tulips:...

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GUY PRESTON: The Tree Fella I Fell In Love With

I’m always skeptical when my boyfriend says he’s a lumberjack. There’s something about the way he cuts his hair every winter, how his checked flannel shirt hangs loose around his trunk and his thorny...

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NORMAN GIN: That Look

It was one of our last meals together. She’d fixed pork chops the way I liked: plain, fried, with onions, in an old iron skillet. How could I tell her I’d miss her? “Whenever I see a pork chop, I’ll...

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FEE JOHNSTONE: The Melody of Monotony

Crosswords, cappuccinos, and Classic FM: I basked in the gentle cadence of Sundays until I was caught depositing company profits into my account. Now, Sundays are indistinguishable from every other...

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CANDACE KUBINEC: The Health Benefits of Tea

Evelyn True was pronounced dead. Her doctor had checked: no pulse, no heartbeat, no breath. The herbal tea she swore by for ninety years couldn’t help her any longer. When the undertaker noticed the...

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