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JAKE GREENBLOT: One of a Kind

None could hope to understand her, to survey the mystical topography of her desire’s terrain. Lamenting her ponderous depths, he hoped never again to cross the enigmatic path she trod. He couldn’t bear...

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HARRY DEMAREST: The New York Times Bestseller

My friends weren’t impressed when I told them I was a writer. Now that I have written this story, I tell them that I am the author of The New York Times Best Seller, Death by Embarrassment, and over...

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PONTIUS PAIVA: Alky

I stumble in, drunk, parking myself at a table in the corner. “Scotch,” I yell to the blonde. “Neat,” I add. She refuses to take my order, insisting that I keep my voice down. I raise a stink,...

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MELANIE REES: The Story

The author bit her lip. “Well?” “I’m pleasantly surprised,” replied the editor. “The world’s remarkably believable, although ludicrous! Creating these human characters with only two legs! It’s absurdly...

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SARAH KRENICKI: Slippery Situation

My neighbor Don moved up here from someplace warm, where there’s no snow. On the first snowfall of the season, he thought he was a real genius when he tried to hose the stuff off of his driveway. I’m...

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MICHAEL MAU: The Upload

Effie tells me she’s uploading herself to the cloud. “It’s for work.” “That’s ridiculous. You’ll be like a bot.” She tells me our minds are the future; our bodies are too slow. I take her slow hand and...

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CANDACE KUBINEC: All Hail the Queen

It annoys me, a little, that my gripes are never quite as gripey as yours. My woes aren’t as woeful. My worries can’t compare. My annoyances not annoying enough. You win. You are the Queen of Whining....

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SCOTT LUPER: Where Is It?

“Check under the bed.” “Nope. Maybe it’s in the dryer.” “I hope not.” “It wasn’t there. Where else could it be?” “I don’t even know. The yard?” My wife was right. There, playing by our curbside...

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MARK FARLEY: Depends What It’s Worth

Grandpa put his old couch on the driveway and added a huge sign, propped up on the faded paisley cushions: Free! Please take! Two days later, the couch hadn’t moved and the forecast threatened rain....

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BETH GAYDON: Chaos

Panicked screams rang out, but Mylo didn’t register them. He took another bucket from the human chain and poured it onto the flames swallowing the barn. Destruction and chaos enveloped them. Mylo...

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IAIN YOUNG: Nope

It was bad enough when Phoebe knew she was eating kale. A single taste, no matter how her boyfriend prepared it, confirmed her aversion. Stir fried? Vile. Roasted? Equally so. Discovering her boyfriend...

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RACHEL REDGATE: Good Luck

The photographer captured it all in high definition: the bride’s tumble down the aisle, the flower girl bawling through the service, the cake collapsing at first cut. No one had wanted a slice, anyway,...

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SUSAN GALE WICKES: What Goes Around

I couldn’t take it any longer. The subtle shaking of the head, the constant belittling, the never-ending criticisms. “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” he squawked. “Give me a break.” “You’re useless.” Truth...

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LISA MILLER: Roommate Rose

“Rats running rampant!” remarks Rachel’s red-headed roommate, Rose. “Repulsive!” Rachel responds, remembering recent requests regarding rat removal. “Realistically, rundown rentals’re routinely risky,”...

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DAVID RAE: A Demonstration

“Show, don’t tell,” you told me. “Use action to illustrate your point.” Of course, you were right. I’d failed to get what I wanted to say across. “I really do love you,” I said. Then I picked up my...

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MARK FARLEY: Home Security

After her mother’s untimely cremation, the witch pulled down their gingerbread house. In its place she built a new home, using slices of turnip for the roof tiles, runner beans for floorboards and...

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SUSAN CORNFORD: Stay Tuned

Being a newsreader is hard. Not only do you have to look great, you must have the most current stories in order to keep ratings up. This is where I have the jump on my competition. My inventor friend...

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VICKY PRICE: Tempted by Fair Male

The rule for any cougar is half your age, then add seven. Anything below this is unacceptable, and would you want to be known as a cradle robber? I am 54, so under 35 is prohibited. Well that narrows...

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CIARAN TIERNEY: The Bangkok Rolex

At dawn, Ronnie groaned. He picked up the new watch, his bargain from the market. He smashed it against the wall. “The deal of the decade!” he exclaimed. I pretended to be asleep, feeling guilty now....

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ROBERTA BEACH JACOBSON: Body Image

Molly set the deadline to shed her excess weight – the county picnic. Dieting was slow, so she ditched a few body parts. Success! Check that scale. Her pound-shedding continued. At the picnic, Molly...

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