Quantcast
Channel: funny – 50-Word Stories
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live

MARY SHEEHAN: Making Your Voice Heard

The new Authority made changes. My comrades looked on with wide-eyed but silent alarm. We had to assert ourselves now, or we were surely lost. I opened my mouth wide. “WHAAA!!!” I wailed at full...

View Article


BOB THURBER: Snake Food

After paying in cash so there would be no paper trail, after sneaking it in under his shirt, after hiding it all weekend in the back of the freezer, after thawing it in the microwave while she bathed,...

View Article


SUSAN GALE WICKES: The Antagonist

It was a problem from day one. I’d never wanted a roommate, but simply couldn’t swing the apartment any other way. I plumped the pillows and placed them precisely in their preferred positions on the...

View Article

BILL COX: The Mathemetician

Numbers swirled in his mind, forming equations, axioms, proofs. The logic of the argument led him to certainty, to a ‘Eureka’ moment of perfect, shining clarity. Absolute, mathematically verifiable...

View Article

KEVIN P MICHAELS: The Realization of Childhood Fears

I look into his unblinking eyes, staring intensely at me. I shudder with fear, for I know my time is nigh. He beckons me forth, wiggling a white-gloved finger. It is time. I can delay no longer. I must...

View Article


DANNY BEUSCH: Number 46 (Yellow on White)

I drizzle honey over yoghurt and imagine that I am Jackson Pollock. Yesterday’s dessert was a masterpiece, worthy of MoMA, but this looks amateur. I need precision. I need clean lines. But it’s...

View Article

KIMBERLY OSGOOD: Mistakes

From the tree line, I watched the castle going down in flames. The acrid smell of smoke stung my nose. Screams from those still inside pierced the air. I felt so horrible. How could I know that spicy...

View Article

HARRY DEMAREST: The Boy Who Believed in Monsters

Big Gerald wanted to show Little Jerry that there were no monsters, so he locked his son in the basement. An hour later, Gerald let Little Jerry out. “See? No monsters.” “I’m sorry, Daddy, there is a...

View Article


JEAN LLOYD: Reality

Lingering between sleep and wakefulness, she savours that moment when light starts to pierce her eyelids, before reality dawns. The drapes, stirred by the breeze, create flickers of light and then...

View Article


RONALD LINSON: Arrival Time

A small airplane roared in, clipping treetops before smashing between two trees on the ninth hole, tearing off both wings. Terrified golfers dialed 9-1-1. In minutes a fire engine lumbered across the...

View Article

GARY CLIFTON: Grounds for Divorce

“Sir,” the judge said somberly, “the court hereby grants your wife’s petition for divorce. Do you understand, sir, that I have also awarded her one thousand dollars per month as support?” “That’s right...

View Article

BILL COX: Body-Snatcher

The doppelganger couldn’t fool Bracken. She knew it wasn’t her master. Wasn’t even human. The scent was off, alien. The rest of the family didn’t notice, but she knew. However, the creature seemed...

View Article

MARK FARLEY: Sweet

We heard the fire engine arrive just as my kids finished their BBQ food and grabbed their dessert. “It’s the house across the street!” yelled my neighbour. We all rushed from the garden to stare in...

View Article


HARRIS COVERLEY: Dead Notes

I lie in bed late at night, writing letters to dead novelists, hoping they might just hear me from the other side. “Dear Mr. Vonnegut,” I mash into the notepad function on my smartphone, “I did enjoy...

View Article

LEYDI CUESTA: A Holiday Romance

It was nearly the best moment of my entire life. I was sitting in the sun, drinking a wonderful cocktail, and suddenly the most handsome man looked me directly in the eyes and gently said, “Excuse me,...

View Article


SARAH HAUSMAN: Confession

I’ll never forget the phone call. “Your Uncle Joe is your real father.” “Mom, what?!” “Your father never knew.” “Mom, why are you telling me this now?” Mom’s hurried confession that day made for some...

View Article

RONI SLYE: Tweaker at 4 AM

Splinters of wood from my door lay scattered on the floor. The intruder, eyes wild, face thin, pointed towards the window. “Trying to kill me. Ninjas on the roof.” I dialed 911. Cuffs on wrists; police...

View Article


EILEEN BRENNAN McINTYRE: Deja Vu

My dad’s thunder would pluck you out of a trance before you realized you’d entered one. “What’s that crap you’re listening to!? Rock ‘n’ Roll? That’s not music; it’s shouting!” Sixty years later, every...

View Article

DIANE MALK: Our Last Sock Hop

We clung to each other in the dryer. Spinning socks became whirling dervishes in a passionate dance. Unceremoniously thrown onto the hard surface. I was the only one left. Widowed now, and no one else...

View Article

PHIL HUFFY: Just Saying…

Dear Editor, Thanks for your cursory note referring to my multiple submissions as “it.” I would reply more personally, but the volume of rejections received does not permit. I have carefully considerd...

View Article
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live