Quantcast
Channel: funny – 50-Word Stories
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live

What Happens In The Box, Stays In The Box

The door of the pet shop opened, and the scientist entered. Mabel shuddered. The man was a friend of the boss, but she couldn’t help wonder what happened to all the pets he bought. As he approached,...

View Article


BOB THURBER: Impressing an Old Flame at our 25th High School reunion

She said, So what do you do? I said, I’m a pickpocket. Seriously, she said. I handed back her phone and wristwatch. That’s amazing, she said. I produced her wedding band. She studied it a moment....

View Article


DARA NARAGHI: Agree to Disagree

With the weighty tome agape in my clutches, I strode across the antechamber, cantillating synonyms with imperturbable tenacity. “What are you doing?” she inquired quizzically. “Memorizing the thesaurus...

View Article

JOHN H DROMEY: Gloomy Job Evaluation

“I have misgivings about our new meteorologist,” an anchorman told his station manager. “In my estimation, she’s not at all well-suited to the job.” “What’s her problem?” “She consistently disregards...

View Article

EILEEN MARDRES: Valentine’s Day Revisited

I loved him, you know. He didn’t deserve it, but it still ripped my heart to shreds when he left me. Oh, I moved on, had a wonderful life, almost forgot, even came to understand and wish him happiness....

View Article


BEN MIMMACK: Table For One

“Can I borrow your paper?” I looked up and knew she was the one. The universe had thrown us together. Forever. We would tell our children about this moment. “Please do.” She finished reading and left...

View Article

DAVE ZACKER: The Haunted Surfboard

The garage-sale guy took $5 for his old, banged up surfboard. First time out, I wiped out big when two bloody skeleton hands gripped the board from the underside and flipped it, and a glowing skull...

View Article

CHRISTOPHER VALLES: I’m-aginary Friend

My imaginary friend came back today. I hadn’t seen him in a very long time. He had grown taller and had traded his jean shorts and t-shirt for a sport jacket and a collared shirt. He screamed when I...

View Article


EILEEN MARDRES: Close Call

Wrong place, wrong time, wrong ID, and a cop car slowly following her. Deep breath, big smile, “can I help you officer?” A bank robbery? Here? Now? Suspect resembles me? I’ll go with you. Teller...

View Article


GENE NEWMAN: Unverbed Tale of an Unarmed Heist

My perfect unarmed robbery plan: A busy bank with everyone in masks, depositors, clerks and me. My note to a youngish teller: “Two hundred twenties in this bag please, or else.” Her nervous compliance,...

View Article

CMF WRIGHT: Old Habits

“I feel trapped,” said the djinn to the therapist. “So I act out.” “How so?” “I turn peoples’ wishes against them. I make them die in clever ways.” “Oh dear.” “It’s habit now. I can’t stop.” “Well, I...

View Article

JD FRAIN: Drive-Thru

Jeremy didn’t realize they’d changed menus when he ordered his usual #5. The bag sagged. The cashier handed him tongs and a chamois. As Jeremy drove off, the bag moved in the passenger seat. The...

View Article

GLORIA GOZI: The Dreams She Has

When she’s young she dreams of gingerbread castles. Floating on a sea of candyfloss and racing down liquorice slides. Today her fantasies are no longer shaped by sugary treats. Asleep, she dreams of a...

View Article


MARIAH FERIA: Chilled

She’d kept her books in the fridge, Risa discovered when her mother died. Where most stored milk, her mother put Woolf. She found Stein in the salad draw. Risa took them home and went one better,...

View Article

BEN MIMMACK: Join the Army and See the World

I drop the bags on the floor thinking I’ll unpack later and slump down onto the couch. Feet up, shoes on, too tired to care. My exhausted mind starts to drift as my eyes close. Suddenly, a hand hits my...

View Article


MICHELLE WILSON: New Friends to the Rescue

She was unraveling in the bathtub when the walls came alive. The shower handle was a silver bird grooming a faucet-shaped, one-eyed parrot. “Hello, Gorgeous,” it said. Shampoo bottles giggled; the soap...

View Article

JOHN H DROMEY: Traced Evidence

“Henderson clearly violated his parole. GPS tracking indicated he drove to Tuscaloosa and back over the weekend. Coffee stains on his trousers contained traces of moonshine.” “Judge Foster despises...

View Article


BOB THURBER: Leaving on a High Note

I wanted to say something noble and precise, something magnanimous and final. A parting shot bursting with clearheaded decisiveness, a line she would record in her diary on a page all its own, then...

View Article

SUSAN GALE WICKES: Just Another Storybook Romance

The carriage crept quietly along the cobblestones. Its occupants, a handsome man and a beautiful young woman, barely spoke. Harsh words had passed between them. Silently, he wished he’d never found the...

View Article

GENE NEWMAN: Arithme(tac)tic

People rudely ask, “How old are you?” and then look shocked when I answer, “Ninety.” “Well, God bless you,” they say. Ninety isn’t that old. Millions of turtles are older than me. My grandson yearns to...

View Article
Browsing all 1116 articles
Browse latest View live